12/17/2023 0 Comments I am a bully gamcore![]() So, what now? There are questions you can ask yourself when you feel that you must get your way. Underneath, it hurts them as much as it hurts the person they bully. They are also creative, resourceful, and whole, but somewhere along the way, they find a method of social and personal interaction that feels like it is beneficial to them. If you can heal this, it can make all of the difference, because even bullies are not broken. ![]() And, discounting everything your spouse/child/friend says, by telling them they are wrong or saying no, just creates deep emotional issues of not being worthy of being heard or known.Īll of these behavior examples hold the same basic premise for an adult bully: You need to control something or someone mentally or physically or both, and how you control them is by getting your way or making it all about you through physical or emotional means. When you start with "no," there is no place for your spouse/friend/child to go. When the first thing out of your mouth is "no," there is little room for negotiation or discussion. You say 'no,' 'you are wrong,' or constantly criticize others. RELATED: 10 Easy Ways To Become A Better Version Of Yourself 5. Repayment, or making your spouse submit a detailed business plan for the repayment of family money for something that they want. ![]() Financial force, where, if you control the money in the relationship, it is taking away things that you know they want.Discussing something to death, not ending the conversation until the other party agrees with you.Talking someone to death, asking the same question over and over and over until they tell you what you want to hear.There are numerous ways adult bullies do this: With children, you may need to withhold toys/games/privileges, but not emotions. If you truly believe that someone is creative, resourceful, and whole, the conversation changes. While I have used this technique because I did not know any other, I have since learned it does not support my belief that we are all creative, resourceful, and whole. It's essentially "Until you do things exactly the way I want them, I will not give you any emotional feedback or approval." We call it "teaching them" or "behavior modification," instead of what it really is: bullying with a nicer name. We do this to our children, our siblings, our spouses. I will not talk to you until you cave and tell me I was right and you are wrong, or you apologize for not letting me get my way." ![]() Their thinking may go a little something like this: "Did you say something? Oh, I was not paying attention because I do not care about what you say, because you are of little or no consequence when it comes to me getting my way. The silent treatment is often called emotional abuse, and is a refusal to verbally communicate with someone as a way to "punish" them. I will quietly do things while smiling to your face." 2. In other words, adult bullies think, "I will get my way, but not when you are looking and not when you know about it. It is sometimes referred to as being passive-aggressive. Pretending everything is okay while doing things behind another's back is also bullying and lying. It could be saying you didn't do something you did in order to prove your point or get your way, blaming someone else for your mistake, or taking credit for someone else's work. Lying is a tactic that can be used to bully. ![]()
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